Dear Diary… No, I’m just kidding but I will be treating this as a bit of a personal journal. To be honest, it terrifies me to put my thoughts out there for fear of judgement. Even though it’s simply telling a story, I worry what people think, what they’ll say to me or behind my back but this is apart of my journey to becoming more confident and comfortable in myself. So here goes…
I figured I needed a hobby to keep me occupied while travelling. I have an inability to sit still, relax and let the day lead the way. No, no.. I need to be busy, I NEED to feel as though I have accomplished immense amounts in my day, even if in reality I haven’t accomplished sweet F all except for walking to and from the kitchen 15,000 times a day, I FEEL better. I’m used to working full-time and having a routine so the amount of alone time I know is ahead, is daunting.
Let’s rewind to 1.5 – 2 years ago. I’d just met up for brunch with my childhood best friend who was about to leave Australia and move to London. I was so excited for her but man, I was jealous for sure. I’d dreamed of doing something similar but how? It seemed so hard. My friend had always been the accomplished one – Smart, independent, completed Uni, great job etc etc. I envied how she lived her life.
I’m definitely the type of person who compares my life and achievements to others and let these thoughts consume me. So of course, this soon sent me into an emotional spiral. My wife, Piki, and I were sitting on the beach later that day and I shared how I was feeling. Although I love her and have experienced so much with her, I still felt unfulfilled. Starting a family wasn’t on my radar and I was only getting older. Hell, I was almost 30 and what had I really done?
I wanted to get away, I wanted a change. So I suggested New Zealand or London. I knew I was jumping the gun but I felt like I needed to do it NOW. Well, New Zealand was a no for Piki, and she wasn’t too keen on London and I hadn’t really thought past these two places!!!
This eventually lead to the discussion of what do we really want? To live somewhere new, work and be limited to just that place? Or travel and experience new places more often? We knew we wanted to travel… but the money, our dogs, our jobs, house, family? Uggghh! It all seemed too hard!
Later that evening, I was in bed and began researching “gap years”, “backpacking”, “How to Travel guides”, “cost to travel for a year”. All you can think of, I just wanted someone to say ‘ITS EASY, you can do it!’.
It seemed attainable. It seemed if you saved enough, budgeted and really put in the effort, made certain sacrifices, you could do it. WE could do it.
So I turned to Piki and said, “let’s quit our jobs and take a gap year.”
And she said “YES”.
This is where our journey began.
